I am afraid of spiders.
Well that’s an understatement. I’m terrified of spiders. Caro + spider = panic attack.
Because I’m OCD, I’ve divided spiders into 3 categories: “daddy long-legs”, “the chunky kind”, and “other”. To clarify, the “chunky kind” are those black ones that have thick bodies and short legs. These are some quick motherf*ers, so killing them on first sight is a must. We can’t have them getting away! Since these are the 2 most commonly seen kinds, all the rest go into the “other” category, which is rarely used but includes: the clearish ones, the yellow ones, and black widows. Rare, yes, but BW’s have to be accounted for even though I’ve never seen one. Now all of these categories of arachnid used to produce the same result: Caro shrieking and freaking out until the spider was dead or otherwise removed from sight.
Lately though, I’ve made peace with some of these 8 legged creatures. One grouping at a time of course. Daddy long-legs and I can get along just fine. I no longer run for the hills, screaming like a little school girl when I see these creatures. I’ve also gotten to a point where I can calm myself down when I see the chunky kind and can remain in my house if one gets away. I rarely see the other kinds, so whatever. Spiders and I are ok. Neutral, like the Swiss.
Until last week.
Bretticus came over to work out at my gym and noticed this insanely large spider just chillin in a web. Of course he felt the need to draw my attention to it and sufficiently freak me out. I mean this thing was on a web that started at a tree branch and ended at someone’s bike. Basically, if you didn’t know the web was there, you wouldn’t have seen it and would have walked straight into it. This guy was like chillin in the middle, and let me just say that if I had walked into this web and that guy had landed on me I am 100% sure I would have dropped dead of a heart attack.
I’m not going to post a picture here cuz just looking at it freaks me out, but I made J look this up and we’ve determined it’s a cross orbweaver. Harmless, but GIGANTIC.
The next day, I was walking to the gym and saw this guy on my way. Kind of comforting to know it’s still in the same spot. But then the next day, it’s GONE. Straight up vanished. Kind of a blessing to not see it, but then I wonder, Where did it go? Is it lurking somewhere? Is it going to land on me somehow?
After a while this turned into one of those out of sight, out of mind things. I’m free to go on about my day, no longer plagued by thoughts of freakishly large arachnids falling on my head.
Well that changed fast. J and I went to a movie and had a great night out. We were walking up the stairs in the parking garage and all of a sudden, he nearly tackles me. Just straight up hurls himself into me, pushing me over to the other side of the stair landing. WTF?!?
He points – hanging out on his new web is that same orbweaver. I was within like 3 inches of it. Of course when I realized this I flipped out. There were tears, there was a panic attack, yeah it was a scene. But I can truly say I’m thankful to have a boyfriend who would throw himself over me to shield me from danger 
