As I address the invitations to my wedding, I find myself with a dilemma: Do I invite the father of my niece?
I had always said that I would consider inviting him so long as my sister did not have a new boyfriend at the time of the wedding. Why? Baby Daddy will start a fight, and I don’t need that on my wedding day.
And now here I am 64 days from my wedding with a very single sister. I have no problems with this guy. I mean he hasn’t worked in 6 years, contributes $0 to my sister or my niece, and is incredibly immature regarding when he’ll “babysit” his child, but I have accepted these shortcomings and they don’t bother me anymore. It’s just the way things are.
Actually over the years, I’ve realized I share common interests with him. Things are amicable. And he’s in my niece’s life forever, therefore also in my life forever. I feel like I should invite him to my wedding considering this information. No problem right?
Nope, my sister and my mother object to his presence. I can understand why my sister – who is also my maid of honor – doesn’t want him there. He does add unnecessary challenges to her every day life. My mom brings up other points. I have to admit I believe her opinion is biased. I mean, he did knock up her teenaged daughter and doesn’t contribute money to raise her, leaving my mom is responsible for helping my sister financially when he should be. I understand the resentment. The other reasons she lists are also somewhat valid:
*Dude doesn’t have a car or a drivers license. How will he get to the wedding? My first reaction is to say “That’s not my problem.” I have plenty of friends and family coming from all over and aside from providing suggestions for hotels, I am leaving their arrangements completely up to them. Baby Daddy is a 30-something year old grown man. He should be able to figure out how to get there on his own. In actuality, he will probably beg and pester my sister and/or our dad. My dad will end up having to pick him up, and I will require my dad to be at my beck and call on my wedding day. Sorry for being selfish, it’s my wedding.
*Dude has nowhere to stay. While the wedding isn’t that far away, it’s also not down the street. My family is staying at a hotel that night and certainly will not either take him home or let him crash with us. Even if he wants to get a room, he has no money. My sister has no money to give him, nor should she, and then he might pester my parents to put him up somewhere.
*There still is a (small) chance he will make a scene. I’m pretty confident he won’t, but give anyone a few drinks and an ex-girlfriend and I’m sure words will be exchanged. My sister has maid of honor jobs to do (like calm me down if I freak out) so I can’t have her being all uppity over something. I also want her to have fun.
So that’s the situation. I’m mailing invitations in a week. Does Baby Daddy get one???
