Up until today, I have blindly followed this tradition. I can proudly say I now know why certain things are the way they are. Like why wear green? Or aside from the fact that it’s fun, why do we get to pinch people on this particular day of the year? Apparently this is the reason:

It’s an entirely American tradition that probably started in the early 1700s. St. Patrick’s revelers thought wearing green made one invisible to leprechauns, fairy creatures who would pinch anyone they could see (anyone not wearing green). People began pinching those who didn’t wear green as a reminder that leprechauns would sneak up and pinch green-abstainers.

Who knew?

For the rest of the scoop on St. Patty’s Day, check out this article from Yahoo News: Why do we wear green?

So we took a challenge: We printed out 2 copies of the US map. It had the states drawn in, and we gave ourselves 15 minutes to write in all the names. No list of states either – everything had to be done from memory.

I filled in as many as I could off the top of my head. Some were easy – like Hawaii, Alaska, Florida, Texas, and of course the west coast. Then I had to stop and think. Is New Mexico the one closer to Texas, or is that Arizona? Is Kansas on top of Nebraska or below it? I counted up the number I was 100% confident of and it came out to exactly 25. So 25 hopefully good guesses here I come!

About halfway through the 15 minutes I had filled in a good majority of them, but there were 10 I still couldn’t identify. I mean, let’s face it. I’ve been to NY once. Recently. I’ve never been anywhere else on the Northeastern seaboard. And I’ve never learned the shapes of those states (some states are easily identified by their shape – Kentucky looks like a chicken leg, Louisiana is an L, etc) because they’re so freaking tiny that there’s just a bunch of arrows pointing to them.

I did my best, but after 13 minutes I stopped. I had filled in 43 states and left the other 7 blank. Yes, I could only name 43 of the 50 states off the top of my head.

J and I compared answers, then compared them to the actual map. Ok I got New Mexico and Arizona right, but flipped Michigan and Wisconsin. I muffed the entire Northeastern seaboard – in fact, the only ones I got right were the ones that I could write the name in the state (Maine, New York and Pennsylvania). I missed all the ones that were small and required me to draw arrows. ALL of them.

All in all I got 34/50 correct. J got 36.The 7 I couldn’t for the life of me name were: Ohio, Indiana, Georgia, Mississippi, New Hampshire, Iowa, and Massachusetts. It’s hard when you’ve already named 43!

Ah yes, I truly am the “dumb American” people assume I am when I go traveling abroad

(click image  to see all of it – I can’t get it to not cut off…)

Basically this is saying: Ignore reality; just believe whatever we tell you. What kind of advertisement is this? Perhaps it’s a cult. Either way, I’m totally fascinated by their method of trying to get people in the door.

We got a really late start, so got in pretty late on Friday. We went straight to the Sandbar to help Sandy properly celebrate her birthday. The next day, we went on a pub crawl in PB to continue the celebration. Just as we were walking to the first stop, Brett got a call from another friend of ours. She was frantic, but since I wasn’t on the phone I had no idea why.

Turns out her mom went down into the deep cuts of Mexico to visit some family, and forgot her Green Card. Not thinking this was a big deal, she had her daughter – my friend – fax a copy down to her. The Mexican travel authorities said this was not sufficient. So Meli went to the airport where her mom would be arriving, and gave them the Green Card to scan into the system. But again, the airline in Mexico said this was not sufficient either. Next idea: just sneak over the border. Apparently that family has been doing it for years lol. But that wasn’t an option either. After all, she can’t be her risking her legal status by doing something stupid like that.

So at this point Meli freaked out and wanted to drive 500 miles down to Mexico, find her mother, and hand deliver the Green Card. Realizing this was not a good idea, she decided to fly and have us pick her up from the San Diego airport, then go with her to the border. So we did this, bright and early the morning after the 311 concert, which by the way was magical.

So here’s how this went down. We picked up Meli and took I-5 down to the border. I was in the back with Meli and hadn’t seen her in a while, so we were catching up. There are an insane amount of signs that indicate which exit is the last US exit, so you would think Brett would get off the freeway at that exit. Fail. I had absolutely no idea what was going on because I simply was not paying attention. But then I hear a very, very indecisive Sim mentioning something about “you maybe want to go that way” followed by “oh ok then” followed by Brett, “Caro what do we do here?” Apparently I’m the resident expert since I’m familiar with San Diego. But really, there are signs so no one needs to be an expert. One simply needs to be literate.

I looked up from the back seat and see that we have indeed passed the last US exit. Yes ladies and gentlemen, we are headed into Mexico. So Brett, deciding this was a bad idea, pulled over to the shoulder of the freeway and put the car into reverse. Because apparently reversing up the freeway is safer than driving into Mexico. At this point I’m thinking, ok we’re going back to the off-ramp and getting off the freeway. False. We reversed to the ON-ramp and drove the wrong way up it. In Brett’s defense, at least we weren’t driving on the one paved lane that goes onto the freeway; we were on the shoulder of the on-ramp, in the dirt. We could clearly make out a plethora of tire treads and realized that, on the bright side, we weren’t the only idiots to miss the last US exit. But still, I feared for my safety until we were back on the right side of the road, obeying all relevent traffic laws.

I realize I did not mention the full story of Meli going into Mexico. Her mom met up with some long-lost cousin or something in Tijuana. No clue how she made it up there, but whatever. The cousin rescued her from the airport and brought her to the border crossing. He found out Meli was coming and decided the family was low on US dollars, so he asked her to bring some over with her. So we arrived at the border and Meli, a girl who does not typically carry a purse, had a large bag with her passport, her mother’s Green Card, and an envelope of money. She was concerned, and I fully understand why! Fortunately Meli is a smart girl and her fluency in Spanish didn’t help either, so after we walked her to the gates into Mexico she was totally fine. She and her mom came back about 20 minutes later and we dropped them off at the San Diego airport.

Whew! Busy day

I love archaeology so when I heard ruins I was hooked. Petra too. We decided to avoid the heat and lazily spend the afternoon at the shore. Of course I had not planned for this and had not had time to douse myself in SPF so I did get bright pink, but it was worth it. Especially since this bright pink decided the next day to be a part of my “tan” rather than a burn. Sweet.

For lunch I had a cheese and bacon sandwich on a baguette. YUM! I also rediscovered Fanta Naranja, and that they make a Fanta Naranja Zero.

YUM!

After more swimming it was time for the ruins. I should also mention that the port-a-potty system here rocks. They flush!! Anyway, the ruins…

These gems were discovered in 1907 yet only 25% is unearthed. I’m not sure what the holdup is, but I was an archaeology major for all of 2 months (then I realized the only thing I could do with this degree is go on digging expeditions most likely in the desert in summer. No thanks!) But either way, I’d be happy to volunteer some time if it means seeing more of this. Heck I’ll even bring my own shovel!

unearthed ruins, greek city

so much to see!

inside the museum...this reminded me of a cross between a chia pet and carla from top chef season 5 (those eyes!)

in tact grave site

a "bath" aka place of filth lol

mosaic in the Roman city

a glass mosaic. super cool

the Romans really liked their mosaics

this isn't the actual statue, but they put up a replica

an ancient dock used by the Roman city. yes, you can SWIM to the ruins and climb on them!

I just realized Petra posted on this exact same topic so I am referring to her site for the HILARIOUS account of our evening, which of course involves a good semi-public nudity story… Americans Disrobing in Spain

Bell-tower near the cafes

Um somehow both Petra and I forgot to mention the fantastic musical entertainment while we dined. I had my back turned away from him so Petra narrated for me. This made it even more hilarious.

Behind me was a man strapping himself into his accordion. He was there for quite some time before walking by the cafes. Only he didn’t play anything! He then made it back to his starting point and whipped out an ipod. We had no idea what was happening but then P realized he was warming up by pretending to play. Oh and now a woman has t down next to him. Oh and she’s got a tambourine. Finally P informed me the were getting up and coming back over.

Then the music started. It was surprisingly good, though maybe not up to our expectations after such a long wait. The single greatest musical accompaniment was the woman with the tambourine. She was just holding it. On closer inspection it would become known she was actually playing. Just the teeniest tiny little almost silent taps. As Xavi said, it was the most apathetic tambourine playing ever. And that’s what made it great.

It didn´t take long.

I just wanted to sit somewhere and maybe have a drink while watching the people go by. However, I have a fear of going to a restaurant, particularly one in a foreign country, and sitting down at a table by myself. Not to mention that here you seat yourself at most restaurants, but not all of them. So I was definitely nervous about it, but decided I just had to conquer the insecurity and go out and do it.

I finally found an ok, non-intimidating looking restaurant and had a seat. I ordered a glass of wine and started watching the people. I realized I hadn´t picked the best of locations, but it would do. And oh were there lots of people to see!

Despite the fact that it was after midnight, people were still arriving into our little beach town for the evening. Some of them were dressed up to go to one of the discotecas. Some were families with children who looked like they might have been coming from the amusement park (Yes, our town has it´s own mini 6-flags). Then there were the people who I couldn´t determine where they might be headed.

Take for example the woman walking down the street in purple Hammer-pants and tall wedge platforms. Where might she be headed? A discoteca maybe? But in that? Then there were the couples where the man was wearing capri-length pants and sandals, looking like he might be headed to the beach, but with a woman draped on his arm whose ass was hanging out of her super tight dress. Surely they weren´t going to a club? Who knows.

My personal favorite was the cowboy. He was your authentic mid-western cowboy, except that he was speaking Catalon. Wrangler-esque jeans, boots, a very frilly hat, and yep…a giant belt buckle. He had a woman with him who was wearing a denim skirt and some other kind of frilly hat. I couldn´t see her as well because of the tree and the fact that she was on the other side of him, but I imagine her getup was as fancy as his. AWESOME.

I ordered a crepe while I was there but made the mistake of deviating from my typical routine of chocolate. Instead, I ordered dulce de leche. This crepe was not good. It was just crepe filled with what seemed like old caramel. It wasn´t gooey, it was kinda sick looking. I felt bad not eating it because the waiter seemed so excited, so I asked to take it to go. We then had a very nice conversation in Spanish. I loved it!

Talk about a happy 4th of July. I may not have gotten to see any fireworks, but I did get to watch some awesome people while enjoying a nice glass of wine and practicing my Spanish skills.

Two very different places, yet both very noteworthy. Our first day of sightseeing, Petra and I tried to go into the cathedral. However, I didn’t bring anything to cover up my shoulders, so I wasn’t allowed in. Again, I’m one of you. I used to go to church in tank tops at home. Can’t I just get some kind of a card that says “She’s Catholic. Allow her inside” that I can use whenever? Anyway, that’s a whole different issue. I guess they’re more conservative in Spain!

under construction....boo!

We finally got to go in another day, and it wasn’t as great as I thought it would be. I mean there was cool stuff, but I didn’t see how it was significantly different to 1. be a cathedral vs. just a really big church or 2. require super conservative clothing in 100 degree weather.

fake candles...you know, so you don't burn down the stone building lol

I do love some stained glass though

organ mounted high up on the wall

geese in the back

We did get to witness a woman with some sort of mental retardation get into a big fight with her jackass husband. I call him a jackass because it really seemed like he was just being a jerk for no reason. That was fun.

On our way back to the bus station that day, Petra and I stopped at La Sagrada Familia, which is another building built by Gaudi. It’s incredible, even stranger than the Casa Batilo.

it's not finished. over 100 years in the making!

yep, that's a christmas tree on the top

closeup of the front

I wish it had still been open when we got there, but I guess I’ll just have to come back. Maybe the next time I’m in Spain it will finally be done? LOL fat chance since it’s taken 120 years so far! Such a cool place, and as the guidebook said, it clearly looks like it was constructed by a lunatic.

We were pretty frantic the day before so we went to the library to book a shuttle. How expensive could that be?

Answer: Very!

It turns out that you have to plan your flight around the shuttle service because there is a 15 euro surcharge for early or late flights. We had both. Awesome. I charged the 142 euro shuttle to my card, then realized we had used Petra’s email address, which she can’t access from her phone. The confirmation page said we would receive an email within 24 hours telling us what time our driver would get us. But…our flight was leaving in 20 hours.

Our Paris trip was quickly turning into a nightmare and we hadn’t event left yet!

By some small miracle and a lot of help from Mario we learned our shuttle would pick us up at the bright hour if 4am. Wow.

This driver was prompt and courteous. However I had only slept 3 hours and my ability to express myself in Spanish was seriously lacking. I was eating my breakfast in the car and the driver asked what I had. I responded “un sanwich de nutella y pantelones” at which point the entire car erupted in laughter. While I had meant to say a nutella and BANANA sandwich, I said pantalones instead of platano. Yes, I was apparently eating pants. He explained that eating was not allowed in the car but he would make an exception for us. Lol

We arrived at the airport for our flight on Ryan Air, “the low fares airline”. I see why it’s cheap. It costs 20 euro per ticket to check in at the airport. F-that! We saved our money and did that online. Add 30 euro to your fare if you want to check a bag. If not, you are allowed just 1 carry-on. Not 1 + a purse. Just ONE. TOTAL. And no more an 10kg. Petra and I were experts! 9.9 for her and 9.8 for me.

Too bad no one checked. I could have carried on a pet elephant and they wouldn’t have cared.

The fight was good and we arrived in Paris BVA. Our shuttle driver would be waiting with a sign with our name in it. I felt special.

Except this would be the first of many experiences in Paris where I learned I am not special. I’m a non-French speaking American, the most loathed of all tourists.

For a HILARIOUS ACCOUNT of what happened, see Petra’s blog: Will it F up my passport if i put it in the fridge?

To sum up the events, our driver left us waiting over an hour, then put us on a bus bound for EuroDisney so he pulled over on the side of the highway and had us switch buses. I thought we were being sold into prostitution.

I see now why this was so inexpensive. Who would have known the most fun shuttle ride would be the expensive last minute one? The one with a 4am nutella and pants sandwich.

The sea is impressively clear. I could always see my feet. And it is cold. Not like frigid so you need a wetsuit, but refreshingly perfect on a sweltering day.

Although I wasn’t a fan at first, the “sand” in Platja d’Aro is actually just small pebbles. This hurt my feet at first but the reality of the situation is that it doesn’t stick to you, get trapped kn various crevices, and you don’t find it in your belongings for days to come. It’s unique to that beach and it’s great.

And the best part: it’s super salty so you essentially float! Treading water takes no more than a mere wave of the hand or flick of the ankle every now and then. And if you wanna totally chill out, let your body go limp and watch as your feet float to the surface of the water within seconds.

Talk about pure relaxation!

sooooo nice

Warning: This blog post definitely contains ADULT content, in the form of text and pictures. Continue at your own risk

The first section was dedicated to animals and their mating patterns. In fact, while I knew homosexual mating existed in nature, I had no idea that animals engaged in orgies or anything of the like.

For instance, this headline just straight shocked me:

The article goes on to discuss the homosexual sex games mallard ducks play. I guess one duck died in the process, and that didn’t stop the other duck. This has been observed more than once. Fascinating.

Then I walked a little farther and stumbled upon this statue:

Deer Orgy

Yes, this was a statue. In the middle of a room. Awesome. It totally made me think of “I’m here for the orgy.” (10 points to the first person who can correctly identify what movie that line is from.)

Then I saw a picture of a monkey with legitimate blue balls. Poor guy LOL

the picture really says it all

The next section of the museum was dedicated to the progression of what was allowed in TV and film in terms of sex and how sexuality was portrayed. It was pretty interesting, and I had no idea that’s how films got their rating scales. Sadly, I took no pictures in this section to share with you all.

In the third section, it was all about kink. I had a whole week of my Human Sexuality course dedicated to this, so I was pretty familiar with the various devices on display. The fact that none of it shocked me kind of scares me, but whatever. I guess after that class, I truly have seen it all. Though it was interesting to read about how they used to do female gynecology exams. Some crazy instruments were used….and to think I have it bad now! haha

Here’s some highlights:

anytime you connect something electric to your body it could be a disaster

now THESE are some insane heels. i can see why they're used in BDSM

And that was it for the Museum of Sex. All in all not what I had expected, but definitely worth the $18 admission.