I have 135 wedding invitations and my dad volunteered to mail them for me. Score! He had one envelope weighed, bought postage for each one, and had them hand-canceled. Once all 135 envelopes were stamped and canceled, my dad gave them to the post master and went on his day.

This was Saturday, 8 days ago. Tuesday rolled around and no one received an invitation. OK maybe it took a day longer. No biggie. Wednesday, I’m freaked out. Re-ordering will cost a lot of money, not to mention the time commitment in redoing each of these damn invitations. Thursday, Friday, Saturday. NO INVITATIONS. Not one person has received them. WHAT is happenening?

It should also be noted that I moved this week. I still have the keys to the old place, but never go there, except today to clean. We turned in our keys and the oddest thing happened – we had a package. I didn’t order anything to be shipped here – what could this be? The guy got the box and it looked oddly familiar. It also did not seem to be well-taped. Basically it was a janky looking box that, were it something I ordered from a company, I would have called the company to tell them their packaging blows.

I checked where it came from – the return address said it was from our wedding stationery company. WHAT in the fuck – we have ordered nothing from these people since we ordered extra invitations. Wait a minute….I put the 135 addressed envelopes in this box that I gave to my dad to mail. Could these be the invitations?

Yes.

I opened the box, and there are 135 invitations staring up at me. Address and stamp side up, ready to be taken from the box and sent to their respective destinations. Instead, they are in a box in my hands.

So this is what happened: My dad went to give the post master the invitations. He started pulling them out of the box to give her. She said, “No, leave them in the box. They’ll fit in my cart easier.” So he folded the flaps inward and gave her the whole box. Then some incompetent asshole at the post office came upon this box, saw the envelopes with the stamps and addresses face up, and decided to pull the flaps out of the box, seal it with tape and put it on the conveyor belt. Um, no. This is not right.

The best part of this is that it went to my (now former) home address. None of the invitations were addressed to that location, and the return address is a different one altogether. Basically, they sent it to the address on the label on the box, WHICH WAS A LABEL FROM FEDEX!! The label didn’t even belong to their company, thus they received NO money for this transaction.  Could they be any more incompetent? I don’t think so. I mean, I’m 100% stoked on life that I don’t have to pay a couple hundred dollars for more invitations, nor do I have to experience the soul-killing process of addressing and stuffing invitations again, but for this to be the reason just absolutely kills me.

Question: they are all post-marked for over a week ago. They’re also canceled, meaning the stamp isn’t reusable. Am I going to have a problem when I bring my invitations (sans box) to the post office tomorrow? Cuz if that’s the case some poor postal worker is going to get an earful.

A while back I posted a blog about how much I <3 Anthony Weiner. I meant to link it into my Twitter. My overall goal was for Rep. Weiner to follow me back on Twitter. Not the biggest of goals, but I hoped it would happen. However, after I made the post I totally forgot to mention it on Twitter.

Begin Weiner scandal. I hear that some of the people he sent pics to are people who wrote about him in their blogs and/or started direct messaging him through Twitter. I can’t help but think that if I had actually remembered to Tweet my post that I might have been graced with some of these illicit photos. Not that I want to see the man without clothes, but it would have been kind of awesome to be part of that small group. LOL

Anyway, now he’s no longer in congress or on Twitter for my entertainment. I didn’t get pics. I didn’t get a follow back. And all of these combined make me a sad panda.

I think it all went to shit when I attended my cousin’s wedding two weeks ago. Don’t get me wrong – it was AWESOME. But their ceremony and reception were strikingly similar to what I’m envisioning in my head and it made me realize exactly how much I still have to do to pull it off and how little time I have left. I came home and had a mini panic attack. I mean I have all the major details worked out. The venues and vendors are set. The flowers are picked. The general “flow” of the ceremony and reception are laid out.

But then there’s all these details:

What color table cloths do I want? It comes with ivory, but I could add a sheer overlay in another color, or I could use the ivory tablecloth and get colored napkins. The centerpieces are white so I can’t do JUST ivory, but if we want something else we have to find a rental company.

What song will the bridal party walk into at the ceremony? For that matter, who is walking in when and with whom?

What exactly will our 15 minute ceremony consist of? 15 minutes is a really short amount of time, but when you are starting with ZERO ideas it’s a long fucking time to fill.

As always, I calmed myself down by making a list. A nice little to-do list that I can check things off of. It’s so much better when you can see all the things you have to do in one clearly organized place.

But then life happens and gets in the way of serenity. The day after I made my list I learned my rent is going up 12%. Yep I’m gonna have to move. Oh and the best part? The last day of my lease is the day after my cousin’s (out of town) wedding, which is the weekend after I’m hosting my in-laws for my bridal shower. FML.

I’ve been taking pictures of the progression, but I’ll spare everyone. It’s nasty. Meanwhile I still can’t make a fist, much less hold weights or play softball. My diet is totally off track and I’m getting angry

20 days to go!

Here’s some background. I have a master’s in the field in which I want to work. I just need a few supplemental classes to get the certification I need for a specific job within my field. I’m not in a position to move across the state to finalize my education and training, so thankfully I live in an area filled with colleges and universities. Even though the program I’m looking for is super specific and not many schools offer it, I have found 3 that I could feasibly attend. Let’s name them.

1. The Good School. This is a school known for having a good program in my field. It consistently produces high caliber, qualified graduates. Pros: This program is well regarded; tuition is reasonable; it’s somewhat convenient in relation to where I live and work. Cons: It’s competitive to get into and I don’t hear for another 2 months; each class is only offered once a year, rather than once each semester; summer classes are not offered.
2. The Expensive School. This school is also pretty well regarded in my particular field. Pros: Small class sizes; classes are offered multiple times per year, including summer; I could start in July; I think I would only have to take the minimum number of units for the supplement (15). Cons: It’s expensive (almost double what I paid for my master’s); it’s far (think 60-90 minute one-way commute).
3. The Convenient School. Unlike the others, this program is not particularly well-known or well-regarded. At this point in my life though, that’s not my top priority. Pros: It’s super convenient in terms of where I live and work; tuition is cheap; I’ve been accepted to the program. Cons: They’re incompetent. Flat out incompetent. More info to follow.

I received my acceptance to the Convenient School and immediately called to set up an appointment for academic advising. I should have really taken it as a bad sign when I had the following conversation:

Me: I was just accepted to your department and would like to set up an appointment for academic advising.
Dude (Potentially Stoned): Well we have several information sessions coming up where you could get more information about the program.
Me: I don’t need to know about the program. I’ve already been accepted and would like to talk to someone about my particular course requirements.
Dude: Oh you’ve been accepted. Let me schedule you for academic advising. (Um – isn’t this what I already said?)
(pause as dude gets the schedule up)
Dude: OK we see students for advising on Mondays and Tuesdays, but we’re not taking people on Mondays for the next few months.
Me: So you see people on Tuesdays.
Dude: Well Mondays and Tuesdays.
Me: But I can only be seen on a Tuesday right now.
Dude: Yeah, that’s right. (At this point I’m already baffled). We have openings on Tuesday 2/15, 2/22 and 2/29.
Me: Tuesday 2/22 sounds great.
Dude: OK (We start trying to figure out a mutually agreeable time). Oh, and we also have Tuesday the 22nd. (UM isn’t that what we’ve been talking about?!?!)
(finally set an appointment)
Me: OK what should I bring with me? Transcripts? Past course syllabi?
Dude: Um (long pause, clearly he’s confused), I think (pause)… Just show up. Yeah, just come.

WHAT IN THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?

So fast forward to yesterday, Tuesday 2/22. I arrived at my appointment a few minutes late because I couldn’t find the building OR the office within the building. I then received a super nasty phone call from a different office admin, asking me where the hell I was and if I was still coming for orientation. I was slightly confused and told her I was coming, but for academic advising. She barked into the phone something about how they don’t do that and that I was supposed to be there for the orientation session. What?

So I finally find where I’m supposed to go and there’s no one in the office. Some non-employee finally asks me what I need, I tell him, and he takes me to the academic advisor. She is baffled by my presence, and was clearly not expecting me. As I was explaining my purpose for being in her office, the bitchy lady barged in and started yelling over me that “She’s supposed to go to an orientation. She’s not supposed to be here today.” Well then why in the fuck did someone schedule me an appointment for this?!?

Thankfully the advisor was nice and said she would see me since I was already there. I showed her my acceptance letter and said I wanted to discuss what classes I would have to take. She was so confused. This in turn confused me. Do students not normally come in for advising? What kind of a program doesn’t offer the chance for students to make sure they’re taking the right courses toward their degree objective?

So after 10 minutes of floundering, we figured it out. She finally realized what I was accepted into, and I finally realized that the department is officially incompetent.

Basically this is a 60-unit program. With all of the other programs in the state, most have an option for people with a master’s to just take the courses they haven’t already taken and get their supplemental certificate. This school advertised that they offer this too. Only they don’t.

The advisor told me “the faculty have met and we decided that students can only transfer in 6 units”.
So I can only waive 2 classes? Yes.
So then I have to take 54 units? Yes.
But at just a first glance of your required course list I can already tell that I’ve taken at least 30 of these units. You mean I would have to pay to repeat all these classes? Yes.

ARE YOU FUCKING JOKING?!?

So basically I got dicked around by a department with their heads up their asses. I had even called the school to request info and they told me they offer a program just like the ones at The Good School and The Expensive School. I’m sorry, but this isn’t just like any other program. This is fucking STUPID.

So now it’s down to A. We’ll see if I get into The Good School or B. How much I can get in scholarships to The Expensive School (assuming I get in).

So it seems that despite an acceptance letter, I’m not guaranteed to go back to school. And I’m pissed.

I really have no critiques of this movie. I loved it. I definitely laughed and was moved. I highly recommend this!!

Vatican tried to keep Irish child rapist as priest

I consider myself lucky. I went to Catholic school from K-12. My K-8 was located on a property with a church that had 10 or more priests. Priests constantly came and went. Thankfully nothing happened to me. Unfortunately, a boy at a nearby Catholic school was molested. This is just not OK.

I was at my old K-8 last month with my family and fiance. It was their annual carnival and priests were wandering around. Keep in mind my fiance attended public school and is not Christian. His ignorance about why things were done the way they were really opened my eyes. This conversation in particular really woke me up:

Fiance: What grades did the priests teach?
Me: They didn’t teach. We had all female teachers, and they had nothing to do with the church
Fiance: Then what did the priests do?
Me: They just wandered around campus at recess and lunch
Fiance: Wait a minute. You had Catholic priests wandering school for no purpose other than to spend time with little boys and girls?
Me: Well they played with us at recess. Showed us magic tricks.
Fiance: Um you’re proving my point….and did they give you Jesus Juice? That generally sounds like a bad idea

Again, thankfully nothing happened to me, or to anyone else at my school that I’m aware of. But seriously – with this kind of a set up you’re just inviting bad things to happen. It really makes me angry that not only is the coverup continuing, but there has been no change in the structure of the organization. Why are priests wandering elementary schools? Seriously. I am outraged.

On a happier note, this makes me laugh. Pope Benedict recently watched a show of half naked male acrobats (they were half naked cuz they stripped down in front of him…). There are way too many comments I could make, so I’ll just let you enjoy

Anymore = indefinitely.

I went to the foot doctor yesterday. Apparently my feet are “not anatomically designed for running”. What does that even mean? I have feet. They work (sort of). One in front of the other!

But apparently running is a problem. Something about everything in there being defective in some way, causing pressure in all the wrong places but especially on my nerve. So to avoid further nerve damage, I can’t run for the foreseeable future.

I like running though. And I certainly don’t like being told that I can’t do something. This might be a tough one for me. But I guess now is as good of a time as any to learn how to swim better. Or take my bike out. Pretty much anything that will give me exercise without another cortisone injection.

The people aren’t that interesting, and they seem to be producing mediocre food. I feel that as a way to “spice” things up the show’s producers are focusing on the so-called drama between the chefs. It’s like this thing between Angelo and Kenny is 100% made up. (Today for example the challenge is to pick off one of the competitors, and these two just so happen to be on opposite teams. Gee.)

It all just seems so contrived this season, which makes it less enjoyable. I really like watching them cook and get feedback. That’s interesting enough. If I want to watch stupid drama I’ll put on Real Housewives or something. Take the bs out of my show and let’s go back to some great cooking!