To play: google images, pick a few, print them for members of your group, and go have fun in Walmart.

(click to see the whole thing)

This is actually a rather tame card, but I’m lazy. Anyway, I’ll let you know what all I find

So we took a challenge: We printed out 2 copies of the US map. It had the states drawn in, and we gave ourselves 15 minutes to write in all the names. No list of states either – everything had to be done from memory.

I filled in as many as I could off the top of my head. Some were easy – like Hawaii, Alaska, Florida, Texas, and of course the west coast. Then I had to stop and think. Is New Mexico the one closer to Texas, or is that Arizona? Is Kansas on top of Nebraska or below it? I counted up the number I was 100% confident of and it came out to exactly 25. So 25 hopefully good guesses here I come!

About halfway through the 15 minutes I had filled in a good majority of them, but there were 10 I still couldn’t identify. I mean, let’s face it. I’ve been to NY once. Recently. I’ve never been anywhere else on the Northeastern seaboard. And I’ve never learned the shapes of those states (some states are easily identified by their shape – Kentucky looks like a chicken leg, Louisiana is an L, etc) because they’re so freaking tiny that there’s just a bunch of arrows pointing to them.

I did my best, but after 13 minutes I stopped. I had filled in 43 states and left the other 7 blank. Yes, I could only name 43 of the 50 states off the top of my head.

J and I compared answers, then compared them to the actual map. Ok I got New Mexico and Arizona right, but flipped Michigan and Wisconsin. I muffed the entire Northeastern seaboard – in fact, the only ones I got right were the ones that I could write the name in the state (Maine, New York and Pennsylvania). I missed all the ones that were small and required me to draw arrows. ALL of them.

All in all I got 34/50 correct. J got 36.The 7 I couldn’t for the life of me name were: Ohio, Indiana, Georgia, Mississippi, New Hampshire, Iowa, and Massachusetts. It’s hard when you’ve already named 43!

Ah yes, I truly am the “dumb American” people assume I am when I go traveling abroad

Why have I never made the time to do this previously?

First and foremost, when I say “campsite” I really mean high-end camping. I’ve definitely done camping a variety of ways, from the seriously rustic, no electricity/no civilization for 50 miles/pee in a bush kind to the camp in a tent that’s walking distance to a “real” bathroom, all the way up to the camp in a pop-up tent trailer that, depending on the location, may or may not have access to running water (but at least it’s more or less indoors). This is nothing like any of those. My parents bought a regular (non-popup) trailer a few years ago, and it’s so freaking wonderful. It’s bigger, has a separate bedroom area, a fully functioning kitchen, a bathroom with shower, and of course heat and A/C. The living room has a pop-out so that you have more space, and the kitchen table and the couch both fold down into additional beds. In my personal opinion, not having to leave your indoor bed in the middle of the night to pee does NOT equal true camping. It’s some serious luxury lol.

On my way up I saw a sign for tractor crossing. You know you’re in the cuts when you come across a sign that looks similar to this:

(No, I couldn’t take a picture of this because it came out of nowhere and I was driving. Safety first! LOL)

When I first arrived at the campground, I was overwhelmed by the number of golf carts. I mean the campground is pretty big, but there is an insane number of golf carts to tote people around on. Everyone has to buy their own if they want one, and some people have really gone all out on this. We’re talking a family of 4 having 2 or more (sometimes even 4) carts. Or other people raising their golf carts and putting in a stereo. Still others have put off-roading tires on their carts. Really? Let’s be serious for a minute people – the roads on this campground are paved.

I drove up and got there around 6pm on Sunday. This allowed me enough time to hit up the pool before dinner. Unfortunately for me, I put on my suit, jumped in the pool, and got out to tan/bask in the sun with a book. Literally as soon as I was situated with my book, the sun went behind the mountain and I was left shivering in the dusk. Oh well, I had a big towel and wrapped up in that for a little bit.

My dad picked me up at 7 for dinner, yes in his golf cart lol. From there I feasted on some steak, mashed potatoes, salad, and BBQ’d corn. YUMMY! We also cracked open a couple of bottles of wine for my family and my parents friends who also camp there. After that, we proceeded to continue drinking….more wine, some mudslides, etc. Great food, great company, great times.

I then took a walk around 11pm and saw a deer roaming the campground. It was awesome – the lil guy was about 10 feet away from me! It definitely stared at me and kept a cautious eye on me until I passed, at which point I guess it decided I wasn’t a threat and it could keep on just wandering around. Pretty cool!

Next came the only downside of the trip: sleeping.

I tend to sleep very poorly my first night in a new place. Add to this a sloped bed (I’m not sure why the couch sloped, but I felt like I was going to roll off it and this kept me awake), my dad coming into the trailer about 30 minutes after I went to sleep and wandering around the trailer and then showering (think bull in a glass shop – he’s NOT a light-footed kind of guy), a party erupting in the campsite behind us at 12:30am, and my dad turning the bedroom TV up full blast only to fall asleep 3 minutes later and commence an evening of loud snoring. I also was awakened at 4am truly believing there had just been an earthquake. Then I felt another, smaller one a few minutes later. And another one after that. Aftershocks? No. Turns out this was just one of my parents rolling over. LOL! Needless to say though, I didn’t get much sleep.

Morning rolled around and it was cold, so I got to try out the trusty heater. I then learned my mom’s friend’s daughter was going horseback riding, so I decided to join. By the time we hit the trail, the weather was heating up. However, I did not plan for a horseback ride and didn’t pack appropriate clothing. Clearly you can’t go on a trail in a tank top, so I had to wear my sweatshirt. In the sun. For an hour. It was HOT! But it was fun I rode a very beautiful brown and black horse who was pretty well behaved. It had been probably 10 years since I last rode, but it all came back pretty quickly. This horse was a bit different than ones I’ve ridden in the past though. In particular, he loved to trot/run. I’m not used to this, and while it was OK at the time, I found my ass being quite sore afterwards from all the bouncing on the saddle.

After taking off my helmet, sweatshirt and borrowed boots I was definitely 5 degrees cooler, but still – it was time to jump in the pool. My dad had come to pick me up, and I got to drive the golf cart!! Lol it’s the little things in life that are the most fun

The pool is unique in that it’s very large, and is divided into 3 sections. There’s a very shallow end of approximately 1.5 feet for the little babies, then there’s a regular pool area for the older kids and adults, then there’s a large adults-only section. After feasting on a burrito and nachos combo, I found myself laying on a double inner tube floating around with my eyes closed in the adult area. Basking in the sun + being partly in the water and maintaining a cool temperature + not having to worry about some dipshit 10 year old doing a cannonball right next to me = indescribable. Again, why do I not do this more often?

On the way back to the trailer we stopped and got some ice cream. Chocotaco? Yes please!! I got to try out the trailer’s shower (pretty freaking sweet being camping and not having to wear shower flip flops or fear getting some sort of fungus from the public restroom). Then it was time to head back to the real world.

I was amazed the only traffic I ran into on Labor Day was due to a car fire. Of course, I had to capture a picture of this as I drove past. This car was completely engulfed in flames. And then the fire started up the hill. With no emergency crews in site. I thought this was going to turn into the next California wildfire. Thankfully this was not the case. Even though all of the traffic moved over to the 2 fast lanes and I had my A/C on, when I drove by I could definitely feel the heat. It was a tad scary, but pretty cool at the same time.

car fire!

All in all, an excellent 24 hours. Can’t wait to do it again!

You can’t start with any particular contestant without first mentioning Chef Tom Colicchio. He’s amazing and has every right to critique the chefs on the show. My life will not be complete until I eat at Craft. NY, LA, Dallas, Vegas, Connecticut…so many choices, clearly I have NO excuse to not go!

Ok on to the contestants I love:

Season 1:

Harold. You have no idea how much I love this guy. Definitely going to have to visit Perilla in NY.

Tiffani. As much as she was a bitch, she seemed to know how to cook. I’d check out O Ya in Boston.

Season 2:

Sam. Obviously he should have won. I was livid when he was eliminated and to this day believe it was for the “drama” between Ilan and Marcel. Fucking Marcel – I hate that guy. Anyway, Sam’s at The Surf Lodge in Montauk, NY (yes, the next time I’m in the Hamptons I will hit that up lol).

Cliff. He was awesome, but got disqualified for shaving Marcel’s head. Marcel is a bitch; this shouldn’t have been a disqualification. Either way Salute! is on my to-do list in NY.

Season 3:

Hung. That fool is fucking crazy, but I have no problem eating his food when he opens his restaurant. Seafood restaurant in NYC to come soon I hope?

Brian. This guy was kind of a bitch, but I would give his food a try. He definitely seems to know a bit about seafood! Oceanaire San Diego.

Season 4:

Richard. It should be noted that I didn’t really watch this season due to a lack of cable for a month or two, but from what I did see, this guy knows how to cook! He designed a “modern hamburger” place called Flip that looks really interesting.. So, if I’m ever in Atlanta, I’d give it a try.

Season 5:

Wow quite the season. There are so many chefs I loved, so I’m gonna narrow it down to my top 4.

Stefan. I put him first only because this guy always won…clearly he can cook. He caters, Stefan’s Catering in Santa Monica, and if I ever have an event in that area, I will hit him up!

Fabio. I love this guy. Similar to my love of Harold, this guy is hot and he can cook. Ultimately, this is what I look for in a man. Not to mention he’s a trooper. I mean, he broke his finger and still cooked up an amazing meal, while never once complaining to the judges that he had a disadvantage. And to top it all off, he’s William Shatner’s private chef. What’s not to love?! Definitely going to Cafe Firenze in the LA area.

Jamie. “This is top chef, not top scallops.” Let’s face it, she makes a mean scallop. Of course I’m gonna have to try these at Absinthe next time I’m in San Francisco.

Last but not least, Carla. She puts love into all her food, and that’s what makes it great! Sadly, I don’t see myself needing a caterer in Washington DC anytime soon, but if I do, I know where to turn! Alchemy Caterers

Not in any way a daunting list I WILL make it to all these restaurants!!

In other news, I went on a pretty sweet wine tasting trip. The places we saw all used biodynamic and organic farming methods, which seem like a great concept yet are probably totally lost on me. Honestly, I can’t tell the difference between an organically grown wine and a regular one. I can barely differentiate a pino grigio from a shiraz. But it’s great that there’s so much environmentally-friendly innovation going on in the wine making business. The only problem with this region is that there are SO many wineries that they are spread out. We were out and about for almost 7 hours and only hit 3 places! It was fun, I just wish I could have sampled a bigger variety. There’s always next time!

“Wanna go halves on a bastard child with me?”

Awesome buddy.

I must say, one of the highlights of my Utah trip was the visit to the Mormon Temple. It was pretty much exactly what I expected: beautiful buildings and grounds + an atmosphere of extreme mystery (they really aren’t very forthcoming with information – they just give you brief, general information) + people ready and willing to convert me. 

♦ One of our tour guides referred to Jesus as “my lord and savior Jesus Christ” at least 15 times in the span of 5 minutes. I wasn’t sure why she couldn’t just abbreviate this to “Jesus Christ” or just “Jesus” 

♦ Another tour guide (approximately 19 years old) told us her major goal in life was to finish her mission, then go home and hopefully find a husband

♦ Polygamy was never explicitly mentioned. However, one tour guide did tell us that in the past, “families were encouraged to take care of other families. But then the fourth prophet received a revelation from our Heavenly Father that this was no longer OK”. That’s one way to sugar coat it!

♦Apparently there are multiple bride rooms in the temple, so multiple marriages take place at the same time. To me, that would suck. You really don’t get anything personal; it’s almost like mass-produced marriages. The brides’ dresses were really pretty though, even with all the long sleeves and whatnot (Mormon-style if you will)

♦ While touring Brigham Young’s home, we were pretty much trapped inside until we made a promise to kneel before our beds every night and pray to God. On the one hand I’m not comfortable making a promise I’m not going to keep, but on the other hand, I was literally cornered by these women. It was incredibly intimidating and scary!!

♦ l had to fill out a comment card. In fact, everyone I encountered asked me to fill one out. Fortunately I planned ahead and didn’t list my address. After we turned them in we were told that someone would be sent to our homes to explain in more detail the Book of Mormon and information on families and the temple. I’m really not interested in having someone come to my home……

But like I said, despite the inundation of religion, the grounds were amazingly beautiful! Some pictures:  

View of the temple and tabernacle (the dome building) from the top floor of the observatory. We were only allowed on the top level and had to have a guide. I think they do a lot of business from this building. It’s all very secretive.

I’ve arrived in Utah. So far so good. First impressions: 

♦It isn’t nearly as cold as I thought/wanted it to be

♦There is still some snow on the ground, which is awesome. I picked some up once I arrived at my hotel, just cuz I haven’t touched snow in a long time lol

♦I had about a 45 minute ride in a shuttle from the airport to my hotel. I was the only passenger on the shuttle, and when the driver started talking (“UUUUUUM” came out of his mouth every 5 seconds), I was a bit worried. He did have some interesting stories though, particularly the ENTIRE history of the Donner party. Apparently they went around some mountains that we passed. He also informed me of the more “scandelous” days this town has seen. I didn’t believe him at first. I mean, we are talking about UTAH. He said he doesn’t talk to Utah natives about that stuff, cuz they just don’t want to hear it. He was definitely entertaining. 

♦Apparently there is a microbrewery down the street from my hotel, along with a couple of other places that look like bars. I was under the impression that drinking was pretty rare in this state, and that to get into such an establishment you have to have a membership. Granted I haven’t tried to get in, but from the looks of it, maybe that’s not the case. At least not on this “risqué” street haha

♦My room doesn’t seem to have actual curtains, just the sheers. I guess that means I won’t be walking around naked in here. Sad.

That’s about it for now. Kelsey and Josh should be done with their baby class soon and tomorrow I am going to do some sight seeing. I will definitely update for any mormon experiences. It should be interesting!